Feeling a Draft

Today is Christmas in April for the NFL. All 32 teams are wondering if when they open their gifts they will be getting a cool new bicycle, socks and underwear, or a pair of slippers that don’t fit.

The NFL draft is is the most watched craps game in America. Teams gamble millions of dollars on a handful of 20-year-olds they hope will solidify their franchise’s future and lead them to the promised land. Sometimes they strike gold, and sometimes they…well, are just playing craps.

Draftniks from Miami to Seattle will be waiting with palpitating hearts tonight and throughout the weekend, hoping to hear the name of their favorite NFL prospect called by their team, and overdosing on stats, highlights and the shrill pitch of Jon Gruden.


It appears the Rams and Eagles will take QB’s Jared Goff and Carson Wentz, and pay them big bucks in hopes they will become the next Peyton Manning, not the next Ryan Leaf. Quarterbacks have been taken with the 1st pick 32 times in the draft’s history, including 11 of the last 15 years. Of those 32, only 3 have gone on to the Hall of Fame, with Manning certain to join them. And speaking of Manning, the Broncos could become the 3 team since the draft’s inception, to draft a QB in the first round after winning the Super Bowl. The others: Packers in 1967 and the Steelers in 1980. Don Horn or Mark Malone, anyone?

Which all goes to remind us that this is, after all, just one big craps game. There are no sure things, even when Mel Kiper or any other of the plethora of “draft experts” says so…as Leaf, Trent Richardson, Tim Couch, Jamarcus Russell, Tony Mandarich, Johnny Manziel, et al have proven.

So, don’t get too uptight about who your team selects tonight. Instead thing about how they will be putting the keys to the franchise and several million dollars in the hands of an entitled 20-year old who didn’t finish college and whose taste is demonstrated in that awful looking suit he wears on stage tonight.

That oughta to make you feel much better.



6 thoughts on “Feeling a Draft

  1. doclr54

    Yes, it’s finally here. Yay!
    Why am I so happy? Because, after all, isn’t the best part of the draft THE DRAFT ITSELF???
    I’ve lost all interest in paying attention to the numerous experts and their numerous guesses. I mean, if I was as bad at my job as they are at theirs, I’d be looking for a new line of work. In the meantime, they get raises and grow in numbers.
    Good luck, teams. Good luck, kids. Go away, ‘experts’.


  2. Steve Riach Post author

    Agreed…And to my earlier point about unpredictable 20 year olds…Laremy Tunsil, the OT from Ole Miss, who at one point was projected as the #1 pick, posted a video of himself taking bong hits a few hours ago! On the day of the draft! Two OT’s have been taken in the first 8 picks – none of them named Tunsil…or Laremy. He’s cost himself a few million $. Kids.


  3. Steve Riach Post author

    Then at his press conference, he was asked if he ever took money while playing at Ole Miss. He said, “I’d have to say yeah.” Then his agent’s team rushed him out of the room. Wow. Not a good night for him or for Ole Miss.


  4. Charlie Houghski

    T.O. gave the Sharpie a nice branding boost…This clown unwittingly elevated sales of tactical military gas masks.



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